Embracing Feedback: A Gateway to Discovering Your True Self
Often viewed through a lens of trepidation, feedback is actually a beacon guiding us toward personal and professional excellence. By integrating principles from Intentional Change Theory (ICT), we can better understand and embrace feedback as a powerful tool for transformation.
Intentional Change Theory: A Framework for Growth
Intentional Change Theory (ICT), developed by Richard Boyatzis, posits that sustainable change occurs through a series of stages. ICT emphasizes the importance of envisioning an ideal self and understanding the gaps between your current self and this vision.
Envisioning the Ideal Self
I recommend working with a coach to start visualizing who you want to become. What qualities, behaviors, and achievements define your ideal self? This vision serves as a motivational anchor, guiding your efforts and inspiring you to strive for your goals. Creating this vision can be an amazing exercise, often leaving clients with a renewed zest for the future. It’s a hopeful and exciting space to dream and set your aspirations high.
Exploring the True Self
This is where feedback comes into play. In this framework, feedback is used to gain an accurate picture of your current self. It helps both coaches and individuals see strengths and growth edges more objectively. This step requires you to be open to critique, and for those giving feedback to be honest and unbiased. We want to see the clearest picture of where you stand in relation to your ideal self.
Questions that typically come up at this stage:
“How can I gather comprehensive and honest feedback about my current self?"
Seek Diverse Perspectives: Collect feedback from a variety of sources, including peers, supervisors, mentors, and even friends. Different perspectives can provide a more comprehensive view of your strengths and areas for improvement.
Use Structured Tools: Implement structured feedback tools to allow individuals at different levels to provide input on your performance. Anonymous surveys can encourage more honest responses. I have a few templates that I can share for those interested.
Ask Specific Questions: When requesting feedback, ask specific questions about areas you want to improve. For example, "Can you provide feedback on my communication skills during meetings?" This helps the feedback giver focus on particular aspects of your performance.
Create a Safe Environment: Ensure that the feedback process is conducted in a non-threatening environment where people feel comfortable sharing honest opinions. Emphasize that their feedback is valuable and will be used constructively.
“What techniques can help me reflect on this feedback objectively?”
Pause and Reflect: Before reacting to feedback, take a moment to process it. This pause allows you to manage any initial emotional reactions and approach the feedback more calmly.
Separate Emotions from Facts: Focus on the content of the feedback rather than the emotional tone. Try to extract the useful information and set aside any emotional responses that might cloud your judgment. One useful tool to help release any judgment is the 2% Truth Rule. It states that we should seek to find the 2% truth in all feedback we receive. I've found this question to be impactful in the way I digest feedback of all types, personally or professionally. This approach allows for a more balanced and constructive evaluation of the feedback.
Seek Clarification: If certain aspects of the feedback are unclear, ask for specific examples or further explanation. This ensures that you fully understand the feedback and can reflect on it accurately.
Compare with Self-Perception: Reflect on how the feedback aligns or differs from your self-perception. Consider why there might be discrepancies and what they reveal about your self-awareness. Another great topic for coaching!
Use a Journal: Write down the feedback you receive and your thoughts about it. Journaling can help you organize your thoughts, identify patterns, and gain deeper insights into the feedback.
Discuss with a Trusted Voice: Share the feedback with a mentor, trusted colleague, therapist or coach who can offer an additional perspective and help you interpret it more objectively.
Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings about the feedback you receive. Reflect on what the feedback says about your actions and behaviors, not about your value as a person.
Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to remind yourself of your inherent worth and value. Repeat these affirmations, especially when you receive feedback that feels critical.
Mindfulness Meditation: Practice mindfulness to stay grounded and present. Focus on your breath and observe your thoughts without judgment, allowing yourself to detach from negative emotions.
Cognitive Restructuring: Challenge negative thoughts that arise from feedback. Replace them with more balanced, constructive thoughts that separate your actions from your identity.
Feedback is a powerful mechanism for self-awareness, growth, and transformation. It provides the necessary insights for individuals to understand their current state, envision their desired future, and develop actionable plans to achieve their goals. By embracing feedback, we can navigate the growth journey with clarity, support, and resilience.
Moving Forward
The journey doesn’t end with feedback; it begins there. Use the insights gained to create actionable plans, experiment with new behaviors, and continuously seek improvement. Surround yourself with a supportive network that encourages growth and provides honest, constructive feedback. Remember, the path to personal and professional excellence is a continuous process of learning and adaptation.
Embrace the Journey: let feedback be your guide, your motivator, and your catalyst for change. Embrace the journey with an open heart and a curious mind, and watch as you evolve into the best version of yourself. The journey is ongoing, but with each step, you draw closer to the person you aspire to be.
